Thursday, April 05, 2007



little baby spey looks like either Yoda or a Burrito to me

The full albums are here and here

And as Nathan is no longer Future Spey - this site will probably go on a hiatus for a while. or until another Lady Spey gets knocked up. Its been fun - I hope everyone has enjoyed the blog as much as I have now.


Thursday, March 29, 2007





Nathaniel is of hebrew origin for "gift of god"


Happy birthday Little Spey!

Wendy and John retrun from the hospital Friday. More news on theis developing story as we receive it. Ceegars for everyone!

Monday, March 26, 2007


Pics: Wendy's baby shower

Mom sent this picture of Weny's baby shower with Grandma, Aunt Laurie, and mom' friends Paula and Nancy at a "really neat historic in outside Baltimore."

Thanks for the pic mom, youre really starting to get the hang of this interweb!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


News: Fly fishing is dumb

I've got less than 2 weeks before I start a new job so I have a lot of time kill while sitting in front of the computer. Unfortunately there is still no Future Spey news, so instead I'll just rant about the nincompoopishness of fly fishing.

Why do I hold such a low estimation of something I've never even tried before (much like steroids and anchovies)? Because it ruins all google stalking of Speys. In the long run that is probably a good thing, but I'm so sick of sifting thru page after page of fly fishing web sites looking for news about Speys. I'm not expecting to find much, but try it and see for yourself. You put Spey and ANY word in the a query box and youre gettin nothin but fly fishing. It's infuriating.

You can try using booleans to get rid of some pesky keywords but it doesn't help much.

The question now is what do Speys have to do with fly fishing? The answer should obviously be: nada. It's a coincidence. Grampa, however, begs to differ.

It all starts with the river in Scotland, which meanders thru a part of the Highlands famous for salmon (for which morons apearantly fly fish) and distilling whiskey. This is where 99% of your "spey" searches lead you. There other 1% will be to some airplane engine made by Rolls Royce, but every few hits in a thousand will get something on our humble family. Grampa thinks this is because back during the Crusades, Scottish Knights heeded the call of fanatical Popes to fight in the Holy Wars and headed South. In the midst of thier journey some decided Jerusalem could fend for themselves and settled down in Germany, from whence they carried on the Spey mantle through their ancestors to this very day.

This is, of course, quite preposterous on so many levels. Grampa also once purported that the name for the 'bullpen' in baseball came the fact that pitchers once warmed up in an enclosure full of male cows.


Here is some stuff I've uncovered while google stalking my family members.

John(this picture is on the right)





more me

and here's another good one from me

and this is what Kirk Cameron has been up to since Growing Pains went off the air

Fascinated I'm sure. Now where is that baby!?!

Monday, March 19, 2007


News: The hardest part...

For us and Tom Petty, that would be the waiting. I'm sure Wendy will have a different opinion when all is said and done, tho.

Still, some people are trying to enjoy thier honeymoon, and others are trying to plan their trip up the eastern seaboard, and it would a lot easier if everyone knew when Future Spey would transmogrify into Present Spey already.

In the meantime, how about some jokes?

What was the only member of the family to be featured in the cartoon, Calvin and Hobbes?
Speyceman Spiff

How is Alaska like the Speys?
One is The Last Frontier, the other it The Final Frontier

Why does Bob Barker like Speys?
Because otherwise he'd have to tell people to merely have their pets neutered.

Those are the absolute most awful ones I can think of, can anyone do worse?

Thursday, March 08, 2007


Info: Heir to the Throne

As I have mentioned previously, Future Spey represents the sucessful dynastic continuation of the Spey Family. No small feat when you consider our meager numbers here in the States. But is Future Spey the heir to the throne? Or more appropriately, the reclining sofa chair?

To find out, we must first start from the beginning. Before there were any Speys in the New World, there were Speys in Africa. Yes, Africa Africa. It all started in Cameroon, which at the time was the German Colony of Kamerun.

Note: This is a real picture of Kamerun.

Sometime in the pre war years, young Gustav Spey made what was to be the most fore sighted decision in Spey history, and hitched a ride not back to the Fatherland to fight in WWI for the bad guys, but to Shelton, Conneticut to start his family. You can view the ship manifest of Alma Spey, the first American Mrs. Spey, coming back from Hamberg, Deutschland in the 1920's here. You have to register with the web site but it's pretty nifty and well worth it.
In any event, Gustav and Alma begat Hans and Ernest. Uncle Hans, the elder son, produced issue, Cousin Tommy. We have thus already concluded where the current occupent and heir to throne lie, as both Hans and Tommy live in Shetlon, CT to this day.
However, as is this blog's want, we can still speculate about the future, and speculate we shall.
Travelling down Ernie's branch of the family tree, we find a few more limbs on which to expound. Gramma and Grampa had 3 sons, Greg, Stephen and Bryan. Should secession fall on Grampa's offsping (a quite likely event), We must then look to his oldest son, Uncle Greg. Uncle Greg has a son of his own, Cousin Tyler, who is a spry 24 and has plenty time to create Future Speys of his own. Thus, a clearer picture develops.
The family line can be broken down as follows:
Progenitor Emeritus: Gustav
Presiding Monarch: Hans
Heir to the Throne: Tommy
However, in the event of say, Hans' abdication, our line-up would go like this:
Ernest, King of the Speys
Greg, Prince of Ohio
Tyler, Dauphin Vegas
And then, if a War of the Roses battle were to result in the triumph of Greg's younger brother, we would get this:
King Stephen John the Edler of Jersey

Prince Stephen John the Younger of Maryland
and finally to
Regent Future Spey
Matthew and I would be relegated to princedoms and dukedoms of lesser importance or else have to mount our own challange to the crown.
Oh, and of course we need to include Bryan somwhere. It is to be assumed that he would be dispatched to oversee foriegn affairs, as an ambassador to the family, no doubt finding favor in the courts of the Burger King and the Dairy Queen.
So as you can see, tho he represents the first of the Spey's 5th generation in America, Future Spey would still only be somethinglike 7th inline to the Royal Seat. And that only if we strictly follow Salic Law (but as Germans we probably should).
Of course we've yet to speak about the riches and bounty that actually await the holder of the Spey Crown Jewels. As far as I can tell, our empire consists of the land holdings Anne and Ernie have managed to acquire during thier long and productive reign. Which would be:
Gustav's original Fortess Spey in Shelton

note: NOT the actual house

Gramma's Norwegian Hoagie Homestead in Aneta, North Dakota

also NOT the real thing

And the Condominium in Ft Myers, FL

this is actually Cybertron, the home planet of the Autobots
Anyway, I think you get the idea. As you can see from countdown ticker below (thanks for the tip megan!) we're running out of time for Future Spey discussions. Any topics you would like to see covered you better suggest now, because before long we're going to have BABY TIME!



Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Survey: To Which Sports Franchises will Future Spey Owe Alligiance?

As I alluded in the previous post, this matter is of minor consequence to Ms Wendy, it is, however, of major importance to someone like myself. John, I gather, is for the most part nonplussed by the whole debate. Although he did place no less than two sports team bumper stickers on his car. That's pretty hardcore when you think about it. It's the next step below getting a tattoo of your team's logo. These sports bumper stickers have since been replaced by Dungeons & Dragons bumpers stickers, but I digress.

Regardless of whether or not Future Spey's parents give a flying firetruck if thier son pays attention to professional athletics or not, we're going to discuss it on this blog now anyway.

Assuming, for simplicity's sake, the Future Spey grows up in the Takoma Park. That would mean his future playdates would most likely be little Redskin, National, Wizard and Capital fans. There may be a few Orioles or MAYBE a Raven or two, but based on demographic reality, those are the teams he would naturally follow.

Fighting these natural inclinations, would be his father's historical rooting interests. Growing up in North Jersey afforded John and his brothers several options per North American major sports leagues. We all ended up Giants(football), Mets(baseball), Devils(hockey) and Nets(basketball) fans, to varying degrees.

Now it gets tricky. First, some back story. Our father grew up outside Salty Baltymore, and thus was a Colts fan (before they moved to Indianapolis) and an Oriole fan. He thus hated the Yankees and the Jets. This played no small part in us growing up Giants and Mets fans, that and them both winning championships in our own formative years. The Devils were a New Jersey team that also won, so it became easy to root for them over, say, the Rangers. The Nets were also a New Jersey team (that proclaimed it loud and proud), but no one every really cared about them. They're moving to Brooklyn anyway, so no big lose.

So, where does that leave us?

First, the easy one. The NBA. Future Spey is welcome to the Wizards. As I said, no one really cares about the Wizards.

The Devils will be tough to give up, but I will concede ground and let the Speys handle it. I'm guessing Future Spey won't be much of an NHL fan in general, and truthfully, neither am I, so no big deal. The Capitals are fine by me.

The NFL and MLB could be a bit of a problem. For football, the Redskins are king in DC. The absolutely dominate, and it would be tough to expect young mr spey to put up with all the grief he would get by being a Giant fan in DC. He would literally be behind enemy lines. As much as it pains me to say so, he would be better off rootin for the hated Deadskins. Football season is short tho, and altho the Redskins and Giants are bitter divisional rivals, I can easily re-direct more hatred to the Eagles and Cowboys. The two games a year they play will be tough, but for the greater good, I'll let my nephew root for the Redskins. That was not fun to type.

So, with that sacrifice in mind, lets tackle Major League baseball. To start with, if there is a fractured market in DC, it is baseball. The O's have the history, the World Series, the lack of not being formerly the Expos of Montreal. The Nats will have a new stadium by 2008, but they just wont have the huge fanbase or inertia to make being a Met fan unpopular in DC. Plus he can always root for the O's, who are in the American league and play in a wonderful stadium with an hour's drive up I-95.

So here's what I'm asking. I'm giving you the NBA and the NHL. I'm being totally selfless with the NFL. Heck I'll even throw in Major League Soccer (Go United!), but please, John and Wendy, do your best to nudge your son toward the Mets and allow me to peddle my fandom. With the way the internet works these days, he'll be able to follow them as well as any fan.

Any objections?

Thursday, February 22, 2007


INFO: What's a doula?

To assist in the ushering of Future Spey unto this earth, John and Wendy of procured the assistance of a doula. Exactly what a doula is can be best explained by our favorite online encyclopedia here (at least far better than I can explain in any case).

Not exactly a mid wife, but more of a chaparone to the entire process it would appear. I am told that Future Spey's doula is an professional vetren who will provide experience and resources beyond what one can extract from Dr. Spock.

With Wendy on the cusp of full-term, the time of a brand new Spey is nigh. Exciting stuff. There is still plenty of speculatin to be done, however, and we'll continue to blog Future Spey's development, despite the name being anachronistic after his zeroeth birthday. Now that the naming debate is over, or at least proven moot, we can devle into other fun and important stuff. Like what sports teams Future Spey will root for. Inconsequential to the parents most likely, but paramount to future Uncles anyway. The raging debate continues shortly.

Friday, February 09, 2007



A rich chocolatey dessert cake was reportedly demanded by Future Spey during dinner last night at Jimmy's on K Street. Witnesses where there to confirm that after Future Spey's insistance of an immidiate infusion of chocolate cake, Wendy was left with no other option but to comply, and ordered a slice of chocolate cake from the pastry cart.

In the event that such a demand were to take place later in the evening, Wendy saved a portion of the cake to be wrapped and brought home for later.

As the baby's due date of March twenty-somethingorother approaches, more and more delicious cakes are required to satiated Future Spey's development. At this rate, by the time Future Spey is a full fledged Spey, Wendy's meals will consist of approximately 50% cake, a possibility both future parents described as, "Just fine."

In other news - Future Great-grandparents requested an email so they could get the blog up on the computer. Happy to oblige, Grandma and Grampa - Hello to everybody in Shelton, CT and wishing Uncle Hans a speedy recovery.

Next Up: we try and predict just what kind of Spey were going to be dealing with.

Friday, February 02, 2007


Results: Primus Spaeus Hortus Tacomius

Were the Spey's a Roman clan you might expect the aforementioned name for Future Spey. It roughly means The first born son of the Spey family from Takoma Park. At least that what I tried to make it say. Dr. Merry's 11th grade Latin was a long time ago.

Doesn't matter - we're all in agreement (or agreeance, to use the parlance of Fred Durst), that the one name this kid will go by is Spey. No more, no less. Still - the name game was fun enough. And a special thanks to Dad and his increadibly informative geography lesson.

Names arent the only thing we can speculate on. Expect more surveys as we look into Future Spey's crystal ball and prognosticate possible predilictions.

Friday, January 26, 2007


News: Future Spey is 2/3 fully named

While we all seem to agree that Future Spey will be known as 'Spey' eschewing any given name or cognomen, it seems his parents still intend to complete the societal ritual of assigning 2 more superfluous names to their child.

I wasn't able to pry the actual name from either John or Wendy but I can tell you with absolute certainty that a middle name HAS been picked out. The first name appears to still be undecided. Not the earth shattering news you were looking, eh? Sorry for the build up but its been a slow week and minor scoops will have to do for now.

And because we haven't had a picture in a while, below is the aforementioned baby book John and Wendy received from me for X-Mas. This is probably tacky to reveal but one of the stores in the mall I managed went out of business and I was able snag the book before the repo men could. I'm sure Future Spey will appreciate my resourcefulness.

OK - I can't seem to get the picutre to upload. I'll work on that. In the meantime imagine a 3 ring binder covered in a pink cusion with a green ribbon around it. That's pretty much it.

HAH! Did it! Hey, who rules? Spey rules.

Friday, January 19, 2007


Results: John's friends 2 - Speys 0

The lack of effort on my family's part is as discouraging as John's friends' unexpected contributions are encouraging.

I think maybe the Speys need some crash courses in blog participation. Or maybe it's Friday and I need more work to do so I don't get pre-occupied with a blog called Future Spey. But honestly, c'mon people, we/you can do better than this.

Baby name games are fun, so lets start over. Suggestions for Future Spey's future name? Great idea. All are welcome. Just click on the comments button and fire away. Ready? Go!


Tuesday, January 09, 2007



Speculation and conjucture abound, as Future Spey becomes set to be the first Spey named in over 25 years.

Wendy already spilled the beans on what the next female Spey will be named (the tastefully chosen Samantha Jean), but since her first born child will be a masculine child we all still get to the play the baby name game.

By surveying the current zeitgeist f the nation, we can get an idea of what Future Spey will be going up against.

Top Baby Names of 2005
1) Jacob
2) Michael
3) Joshua
4) Matthew
5) Ethan
6) Andrew
7) Daniel
8) Anthony
9) Christopher
10) Joseph
Samantha was #8 for girls btw.

Your standard fare. A couple of uncle possibilities. No John tho, but I believe we already established that Stephen John Spey III is off the table so no worries. Digging deeper into the parents' home states, Michigan and Maryland doesn't reveal much, but in Future Spey's fraternal grandmother's state of birth, The Republic of Texas, Jose is actually the most popular baby name. Plus Jose Spey rhymes, so it looks like a win win to me.

Both sides of Future Spey's parents have significant nordic/germanic heritage so one route to persue is the marginally useful baby name generators that let you sort names by origin. Actually thoe websites are pretty much worthless but just for the smell of it, here are

2005's top 10 Norwegian Baby Names
1) Andreas
2) Daniel
3) Darius
4) Fredrik
5) Jonas
6) Kristian
7) Kristoffer
8) Markus
9) Martin
10) Thomas

Eh, nothing special here. Weird spelling is only good for google stalking. But then, with a last name of Spey you're easily google-stalked no matter your christian name, so I guess it's of no concern.

Checking celebrity baby names seems to be a popular thing to do, at least I assume so since every baby name website I go to has a section devoted to that activity, but forget that. I'll have no part in encouraging such nincompoopish behavior.

Dad always used to joke that if he could do it all again knowing he'd have 3 boys, our names would be Ace, Duece and Trey. See above comment for how I feel on that horrible idea.

Mom and Dad instead thankfully used New Testament for the their children's first names and and family names for our middle names. This is something John and Wedny could easily try. Plus we'll finally have an answer for Mom's Southern relatives when they ask "Where are Mark and Luke?" after Matthew, John and Andrew are introduced. However, following the established rubrik would send you back to Stephen John Spey III terrority, unless they search over on Wendy's branches of the family tree. By the way, now would be a great time for Wendy to email me all sorts of info about her side of the family so we can discuss this in further detail.

Alliteration is something you might want to think about, a la Steve Spey. Spencer Spey actually goes beyond first letters and would match the first full phoneme. And letter length is a huge factor when it comes to email address, at least the ones using first names. Probably not going to be an issue, tho. And the number of syllables will be important since it will determine the ease in which bards place Future Spey's name into epic written in iambic pentameter.

Actually, the more you get into the nitty gritty, the more this starts to become an excercise in futility. The bottom line is this kid going to be called 'Spey' no matter what. It combines both brevity and uniqueness. It will be as unavoidable as his acne. Might as well get used to to it.

Of course that should by no means stop us from coming up with suggestions. We've got some time to muse but lets start the brainstorming and see what we can come up with. This blog allows annonymous postings so don't be shy.

And, if all else fails, you can use the interweb to cyber up some automatically generatated nerdy fantasy names!

Friday, January 05, 2007


Info: The Year of Future Spey

Just a quick reminder that we are already in 2007, and thus all future Future Spey epochs can be counted upwards from here.

por ejemplo:

Expected date of Future Spey's first steps: 2008
Expected date of Future Spey's first day in an educational instution: 2012
Expected date of Future Spey's first chance to stop going to an educational institution: 2025
If he is anything like his father, expected date of Future Spey's actual last day at an educational institution: 2034
Future Spey's Sesquicentennial Anniverary: 2157

I threw that last one in there because Future Spey's granfather is convinced life expectancy will double within the next couple generations.

Anyway, you get the idea. Baby names are up next, I promise!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


Report: Holidays and Housekeeping

So the holidays came and went and I've nothing much to report on the Future Spey front. I did get a gift for the Future Spey Makers but on acount of my lassitude and their logistics, I have not yet delivered it to them. I'm not sure if it even qualifies it as a xmas present anymore but in any event, it's time to break the suspense.

John and Wendy, I got you a baby book. It's actully rather nice and I hope you don't have one yet. And if you don't, I hope you're planning on using one. No big whoop either way. but yeah - I have your Future Spey Baby Book.

And apologies to all for the derth of new posts. Now that the holiday season is over (MLK Day notwithstanding) I'll have more time to post. In the meantime we picked up fellow last-Spey-standing, Cousin Tyler, of the frehly branched Vegas Speys as a reader. Welkomen Ty. The Vegas Speys... I've got to say Tyler, it has a nice ring to it. You might be on to something. And you comments about the gastronomic nightmare 225 Speys would cause is dead on. As Hans and Franz used to say - Yah it would cause a flabbalanche! Haha, man those guys were great. Why don't we have a Great Uncle Franz?

and in some more boring housekeeping issues, for some really dumb reason I kinda accidentially deleted my gmail address, so please send stuff to my hotmail address (same beginning, it just ends in if you've got anything to add. And this blog is now run by Spey3 instead of just AndrewSpey. And I can't make any changes to the blog settings, just make new posts. Yeah, it was as retarded as it sounds. In any event, it shouldn't change your experience much as a reader.

Now more news from North Carolina - the freshly minted OC Speys (that's for Orange County, NC, where they Live) report that already there is substantial "buzz" in the community about a Future Spey in dixie, but alas, still nothing of any substance. Lauren also requested a Celebrity portmanteau like Brangelina or TomKat. So far Mauren or Latt is what we're working with. Honestly tho, Lauren, when you share the same last name it makes it tough. Especially when Spey was a pretty easy name to mix with another name. Just add SP to the front and your done. For instance, it is documented that Mr and Mrs Spey of Tokoma were once known as Spwendy. You could have been Spauren. Or Spersbergen. Now I'm afraid youre just Spey. Sorry.

But anyway, like I said, after the holidays and a little technical difficulties were cleared up we're now ready to start blogging again in earnest (like Grampa!) Whats up next? Well, we're only one mester or so away so why not LET GREAT FUTURE SPEY BABY NAME DEBATE... BEGIN

Friday, December 15, 2006


Pics: Matthew and Lauren's Wedding - North Carolina (click on the pictures to enlarge)

I started off with this one because i want to you closely at Matt's hair. notice how pink it looks? Well it's not hair dye, it's his scalp. You see, while Matthew was getting ready for the wedding Saturday morning, I went into his room to check on him. I found him in the bathroom surrounded by what was once his his hair. He looks up at me and says, "I think I made a boo boo." Matt got the clipper size mixed up when he was trimming his hair and ended up basically having to shave his head bald. On the day of his wedding. Nice lady that Lauren, and what tremendous patience. Anyway, I'll always remember that line as the classic Matthew wedding day moment. Good job, Matt.

Matt Signing the thank you card for the organist.

Dad being a dad out side the church. Grandma supervises.

The newlyweds at the alter.

Now we're finally talkin. Speys, and lots of food, at Maggiano's. looks like a perfect fit to me.

Speys feeding each other. Kimmie looks on as her sister is lost to the dark side forever.

New Speys cutting cake. Notice a theme developing?

New Speys toasting champies. I might as well add here that Johan, the pastor/minister/chruch guy did an excellent job at the ceremony. Spotting phonies involved in religion is about as easy as it gets and Johan earns top marks for coming off as completely sincere in everything he did. Can't imagine anyone doing a better job. Just more icing on the wedding cake for a superb weekend.

Now I get to cut the cake. I should also point out that this cake was designed to feed 48 guests. 12 people got thru 3/4 of it. Speys rule!

nice book nerd. i mean, here are john and wendy and future spey.

and thats future spey. i hope you'll still speak to me after this, wendy.


Report: Matthew and Lauren Spey's Wedding

Last weekend, an intmate gathering of Speys and Kersbergens (of both the current and once and former variety) featured the binding two young souls together in the eyes of our Heavenly Father and Orange County NC (the real OC). Tho the legal dust has probably not quite settled, for all intents and purposes, there is now lo unto this world, a brand new Spey, the first in over 5 years (think of how old that makes John and Wendy!!!!!).

Congrats Matthew and Lauren Spey!

Usually, when 3 or more Speys get together, mass quantaties of tender vitals are ingested,and this event was no exception. Caloric intake reached an all time high Saturday. My personal gluttonous highlights (interruppeted only momentarily for the actual wedding itself) includ: 10 am - 2/3 of an Entman's cheese coffee cake; 2:30 pm - Maggiano's family style Dunch (dinner + lunch? hey, I'm trying something new here, why not?); 530pm - multiple samples of Grandma and Grandpa Spey's beef and cheese log platter; 7pm - wedding cake; 815pm - North Carolina style Bar-b-que sandwiches, coleslaw and hushpuppies; and I probably crushed like 6 or 7 beers over the course of the day too. And some champagne of course, becasue it's a celebration hot dig it!

pics and comments of the main event to follow, but first lets recap some of weekend's Future Spey related tid bits.

- Grandpa Spey has already nicknamed Future Spey 'HT', which stands for Hi-Tech. Hmm... I think you're on the right track Grandpa, Future Spey will undoubtedly be exposed to a scientifically progessive evironment from the get go, but objectivley I'd rate the nickname 'Hi Tech' somewhere between 'Skippy' and 'Garbageface '. Just my opinion tho.

- Future Spey will most likely have no satorial theme for his baby clothes, nor will his outfits correspond to the repscetive seasons of the year, though should John and Wendy ever decide to so cordiante FS's duds (yes I just abriviated Future Spey's nickname, deal with it) they have the appropriate wardrobe at thier disposal, thanks to a generous donation from Wendy's nephew Max and his parents, Deanna and ... help me out here Wendy, I want to say Max again but I know thats wrong. Anyway, John and Wedny are no longer in want of baby clothes.

- Speculation was abound with regards to when a North Carolinian Future Spey may be arriving. No direct questioning of the subject took place but rumor has it it won't be long after the the first future spey arrives until we'll have another FS to blog about. Matt and Lauren could not be reached for comment.

- Grandpa Spey does not believe this blog exists anymore. The reason is because Grandma Spey printed out a copy of it for him to read before the wedding and Grandpa threw it out, thus ending forever. Of course without Grandpa Spey there wouldn't be any Future Speys to speak of, we probably should give him too hard a time about it.

- Future Spey's homemade blue afghan from Grandma Spey is under construction.

I would say now enjoy the pics from the wedding but since the blog puts the newest posts first you;ve most likely already seen them, so... if you feel like it, comment on them!

Monday, December 11, 2006


Pics: John Wendy and Future Spey

Thats John on the left, Wendy on the right, and Future Spey in the middle, racked out after doing what Speys do best: gorging on food during a holiday.


Info: Future Spey's Legacy?

The previous holder of the Guinness World Record for 'oldest living person' expired early this morning.

Her offspring include no less than 220 great-great-great grandchildren.

Will Future Spey prove to be so adept propagating the species? The only thing known for certain is that none of us will be around to find out.

Friday, December 08, 2006


Feedback: Aunt Laurie

Another family member was kind enough to chime in with their thots on Future Spey the Blog. Aunt Laurie of the Kirkwood-Eberle branch of the family had this to say in an email:

"I am trying to be cool!"

Well, best of luck with that, Aunt Laurie!

Oh, and she also mentione the blog in her email, too - "Well, I read my first Blog! Very cool"

Thanks for the kind words. And don't forget to send pictures!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


News: Wedding Bells

As I previously mentioned, Spey2 and Lauren Kersberger (oh man I think I spelled that wrong but dont hink I have the proper spelling handy. Sorry Lauren!) will be tying the knot this upcoming weekend. Decemeber 9-11 is set for a Gathering of the Speys.

This means the Speys et al will be caravaning South to the Spey-Kersbergen home in North Cackalacky. The family convos will most likely be retreads of old topics and hopefully some debate on the possibilities of opening up a new source of future speys of the dixie persuasion. All developments worth noting will be found in a subsequent report post.

Monday, November 27, 2006


Report: Thanksgiving 2K6

Perhaps because of the advance warning posted on this blog, relatives showed suprising restraint reagrding the usual barrage of questions this past holiday weekend. Several family member did fall for my teaser hinting that I finally had a significant other to show off or at least report on. But alas, there was no new GF display. Merely freshly grown facial hair of questionable aesthetics. Behold my retort!

Honestly tho, if a stache like this doesn't send the chicks flocking then I don't know what will.

Moving on to more improtant actual future spey news, Wendy is still doing quite well, as is her lesser half, Stephen John Spey Jr. Several toasts were made in her and future spey's honor, and the all received enthusastic cheers.

Also being toasted were Lauren and Matthew, who established December 9th as the official day of matrimony. The fam is all looking forward to that day as it means Lauren and Matt will finally no longer be living in sin (just kidding!). Besides the obvious reasons to celebrate the occasion, the holy union between the two young souls will also mark the next step on the road to even more future speys. However, it should be noted that we all heartily applaud the step weather or not future speys are now any closer to materializing in North Carolina or not. See you in Hillsborough soon!

By the way - if anyone has any pictures they want to put on display - email them to me and I'll post them! (

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Feedback: Uncle Greg

My Uncle Greg of the Ohio Speys (and older bro of Future Spey's grandpa) had this to say about our humble cyber endevour:

"This is understatedly clever. I will alert my descendents."

Sounds like another ringing endorsement to me! We'll check back with a full report in after the fam fills their fat bellies on the one holiday truely made for Speys this Thursday.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Analysis: Thanksgiving Dinner Topics

As the Spey Clan filters in and out of the Embassy Suites on their way to Wednesday and Turkey Day Feasts the usual topics of conversation will no doubt be revisted. For the Sons of the Jersey Speys, that can only mean that they will be confronted with the following questions:

Spey1 - When are you producing offspring with Wendy?
Spey2 - When are you and Lauren going to tie the knot?
Spey3 - Seriously, you still don't have a girlfriend?

Unfortuntely for Spey the Younger, Speys the Elder and Middle will come equipped with ready answers for their interrogations, those being Next Spring and December Ninth, respectively.

How will I counter attack?

We shall soon find out...

Friday, November 17, 2006


Pics: John and Wendy

Here are John and Wendy Spey (Those aren't capes they're wearing they're the hoods you get from earning post graduate degrees. Yes they are nerds).

The picture was taken in the Summer of '06 so I guess you could say that twinkle you see in John and Wendy's eyes is Future Spey's first signs of life.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Feedback: From the Progenitor of Future Spey

When I asked John if he thought my blogging of his unborn child was a good idea, I recieved the following reply:

"Keep it. I like it. I sent it to Wendy"

So now we have the offical endorsement of Future Dad (first new Spey dad in 25 years, also!). Hopefully Wendy's opinon will be likwise.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Analysis: What does a male Future Spey mean?

Lets consider the ramifications point-by-point:

1) Primogenture is established for at least 1 more generation - The Spey's have procured another male heir. Technicaly tho, dynastic succession would fall on Cousin Tyler's shoulders, but more on that later as the reigning Emperor still rules all of Speydom from his castleminium in Fortress Myers, Florida.

2) The Takoma Park Speys will save money on toys - John and Wendy will be first in line to pick over all the treasures that Jimmy and Scotty haven't yet destroyed or Mom hasn't already given away from my halcyon youth. I suggest they claim dibs on all the Bert & Ernie Seasame Street items before I swoop them up for purely selfish nostalgic purposes.

3) We can start the poll for boy baby names - Samanatha Jean Spey will have to wait at least another 9 (or is it 6 now?) months to be christened. Until then the debate rages. Click here for a good jump off.

4) The Spey family name continues - Meh - no big deal. Its a fine name and surely there are worse, but it's not the BEST name. Included in this deal is that Future Spey gets to look forward to the first day his classmates realize his last name rhymes with 'gay'. Good times.

5) Another hungry mouth to feed brought in this Malthusian dystopia called Earth - PSYCHE! The more the merrier, bro!

6) I get a new friend!!!! - I can't wait to start hanging out with (i.e. corrupting) my new friend! Seriously, that's what this is all about. There hasn't been a new Spey in over 5 years and no naturally occuring Spey in 25. Far too long to wait (although we may a new Spey of the 'unnatural' variety soon too - more on that later as well). Hence this nerdy blogobration of Future Spey. Let us rejoice the impending efervecence of life.





Rumor: Future Spey's Sex Determined?

Rumor has it that John and Wendy are currently at the doctor's finding out (among other improtant things) whether they will be painting their spare bedroom pink or blue. Updates to follow.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Info: When will we see a Future Spey?

Before an adequate response to that question can be tendered, it would be best to examine all pertinent background issues.

Currently in the United States of America there are only 14 Speys in extant. Each of those 14 Speys undoubtedly add other cherished members to their extended families and often the ability to create Future Speys is the consequence of arbitrary and arguably sexist societal customs, we will nonetheless only be focused on those who carry the Spey last name. At least for the time being, with the topic to be revisited in subsequent posts.

That being said, Speys have not proven to be the most successful breeders of the species Homo Sapien. Given four generations in America, the current number of potentially reproductive male Speys stands at four (we are considering all Speys of the Baby Boomer Generation and up to be past the age of reproduction, whether that be technically true or not). So the fate of Future Speys lie in their hands (or loins, if you want to get picky).

Luckily for this blog, The eldest of the Echo-Boommers, Stephen John Spey Jr. and his effervescent wife, Ms Wendy, are expected a child. THAT MEANS WE CAN EXEPECT FUTURE SPEY TO ARRIVE SOMETIME IN THE SPRING OF 2007.

An epochal moment in human history to say the least. Further details about Future Spey remain sketchy but your humble blogger pledges to diligently cover this momentous story from all the angles. Stay tuned.


Info: What is a Future Spey?

A Future Spey is any Spey born to the most recent established generation of Speys, thus propagating the next generation of Speys, or Spey: TNG.

We will be taking a very Pro-Life stance on the existence of Future Speys, considering their lives starting at conception.


Welcome to Future Spey

Tune in regularly for all matters Spey and their progeny.

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